Life With 4 Kids

When my son was 3, I remember something that didn’t make sense to me at the time.

My neighbor Lisa was watching him play outside, and she started telling me about her two sons. They were both diagnosed with ADHD, and she shared how hard it had been for them — especially finding the right support and treatment.

At the time, I didn’t really understand why she was telling me all of that.

Looking back now, I think she saw something I didn’t.

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Two years later

Two years later, my son started kindergarten. That’s when things started to become more noticeable. His teachers recommended that we see a doctor, and that’s when he was officially diagnosed with ADHD.

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What I thought before

Before the diagnosis, I explained everything in my own way.

He was always talking — I thought he was just very cheerful and outgoing. He had trouble focusing — I thought he just had a lot of different interests. He kept losing his things — I thought he was just too young to stay organized.

I didn’t see it as anything more than that.

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After the diagnosis

Once you know what it is, you start to notice it more.

At indoor playgrounds, his behavior stood out to me in ways it hadn’t before. Sometimes other parents would ask, “Does your son have ADHD?” — and I’d realize I was seeing the same thing they were, just with a name for it now.

Once you understand it, you begin to see patterns more clearly.

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Everyday challenges

He still struggles with homework and staying focused. But he’s in an IEP program at school, and his teachers support and monitor him closely. That has made a real difference for us.

There are also moments that are hard.

When he’s playing with friends, his excitement can tip into something impulsive. Once, he was playing with a toy helicopter and accidentally hit his friend — not out of meanness, just because he couldn’t stop himself in the moment. He really likes his friends. He just doesn’t always know how to control that energy yet.

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What I’ve learned

I’m still learning every day.

But the biggest shift for me has been this: he’s not trying to be difficult. He just experiences things differently. And once I understood that, I stopped trying to correct him in the moment and started trying to understand what he was feeling first. It doesn’t always work. But it works more than it used to.

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Final thoughts

If something feels a little off and you’re not sure what you’re seeing — you’re not alone.

Sometimes other people notice things before we do. Sometimes it just takes time to understand what’s really going on.

And sometimes the thing that changes everything isn’t a big breakthrough. For me, it was just learning to pause before I react. My son is still figuring out how to manage his energy. And honestly, I’m still figuring out how to meet him there.